should i go?

Posted: December 28, 2012 in depression, hospitalization, mental health

what makes you finally decide to go inpatient?

you just cannot take it anymore?

you know your meds aren’t right?

you are thinking of harming yourself but know deep down you won’t? or will i? what is my breaking point?

a few factors to think of for the cons:  my bday is tomorrow, new year’s is next week, we have no money for the high copays they charge, i still owe the hospital $100 dollars, I don’t want to inconvenience everyone.  the pros: i will get help. I will be safe. I will get my meds balanced.

I just don’t know.

yesterday was awful for me. for some reason i snapped out of the really bad thinking, took a hot bath, and was OK enough to not go.

i feel like i’m still unstable and having ‘those thoughts’ but just am torn.

how do you make the decision? i am off. i’m not mentally right.  my husband does not know. he just says ‘do what you think is right’. well what is that?  what is right? i have a foggy perception of right and wrong now.

help.

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Comments
  1. The Quiet Borderline (back in hospital) says:

    I’m sorry. I really am. I have learned to go with my gut instinct and it seems to me like you’re maybe needing hospitalisation. Your health and life comes first – please do what you have to do if it’s within your reach.

    I’ll be reading x

  2. rizzojoshua says:

    Hi There,

    While I don’t know the full surrounding circumstances of your situation, I think you should go inpatient. Just the fact that you mentioned harming yourself is something that makes me want to fly to wherever you are and take you there. I spent a lot of time in the military as a commander and I devoted a ton of my time to PTSD and everything that comes along with it – not just my own, but my troops and their families, etc. You have something beautiful to offer in this life – whether you know it or not. You have a reason to keep on going. I think you ought to take care of yourself. You’re not alone. Things will get better. Maybe one of my blog posts might help you? Maybe not, but a lot of it is based on positivity, etc. We all get down, and you are not alone. I don’t know you, but I know that you’re special and you’ve got a lot to offer this world. Please take care of yourself.
    Very Respectfully,
    Josh

  3. mentallygoingbackwards says:

    I hope you are ok and havnt self-harmed. dont think that if you self-harm you will get treatment any faster because it doesnt work like that. please try not to start self-harming

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