well here i go…

Posted: January 7, 2013 in clinic doctor talk, depression, mental health, SMI



this one’s for you! lol.

i promised a rambling awkward post. and here i go.

i’ve felt like crap all day.

i had my follow up appointment with my doctor from my hospital stay over New Year’s.


So I am with a ‘clinic’ to help me with my ‘issues’, SMI, etc.


I’ve been going there since April last year.

well without going into all the detail, i will just tell you all this clinic is INCOMPETENT!

i get so sick of people who don’t know their jobs, know what they are doing, and i am the one who pays for it.

among other problems with this clinic today, the one big one bothered me was that i checked in at the front desk and apparently the receptionist never let my nurse practitioner know i was there.  i sat there for 20 minutes over my appt time wondering what the hell is going on!?

she told me they never told i was there.

you know, i’m frickin’ mental, i cannot handle these situations lightly.

i sat there today and did nothing. wanted to just cry.

my face was so red when i entered her office. she said ‘you look upset’. whatever.

i didn’t go into it.

i think i’m losing my edge lately.

i’m so tired of arguing, fighting my point, and i feel like my insides and outsides are just giving up.

well i had the appt. upped my lamictal to 50 mg and i’m still on the lexapro and the ambien for nighttime. she discontinued the effexor (that the hospital already did) and the seroquel. yes it causes weight gain, which i do not need any more of, thank you.

i’ve not been suicidal lately. my nurse practitioner asked me that today.

i told her i just don’t want to live and don’t see the point of this whole damn life anyways.

wake up. work. eat. sleep. repeat. WTF?


oh, and i’m getting horrible headaches lately. gotta love side effects.

how are you all doing?

  1. mentallygoingbackwards says:

    The appointment thing happened to me a few times. very annoying indeed as it means you have missed out on that valuable time with your specialist. I hope you feel better today, i know the feeling on the stupid cycle of life re: work, eat, sleep

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