the black and white thinker

Posted: February 6, 2013 in BPD, mental health, skills class-DBT

i’m taking a self-help DBT class that is set up specifically for BPD patients. however, this DBT is great for anyone with mental illness.

anywho, we learned recently that many people who have suffered trauma are ‘black and white’ thinkers. true. that’s me. no grey. or gray, however it’s spelled. lol.

so here is a fine example of my black and white thinking. this happened yesterday to me:

A story I want to share with you all.

The story of the black and white thinker.

I was in the drive-thru at Starbucks yesterday morning. Lots of cars in the drive thru. The line taking way too long. In front of me was an Infiniti car with a woman driving the car. Instantly I recognized the ‘nice car’. Not sure why. When she got to the window I noticed the employee handing all sorts of ‘goods’ out the window. I said out loud (to myself with my window rolled up) anything else? You should have gone in if you bought this much. Right as I said that she looked thru her side mirror to me and smiled. I instantly thought “is she reading my mind” heck!
I was kind of annoyed getting to the window, having to wait so long, and instantly blaming the gal in front of me with the nice car. I pulled out my credit card and waited for the employee to come to the window for my money. She said “the lady in front of you bought your breakfast today”. My heart sank. I thanked the employee and said ‘that was really nice’ but drove away feeling like a piece of crap. Instantly I knew god sent this woman and this incident for me as a learning lesson. Only I heard and knew what I said and was thinking. I am a black and white thinker, not getting the other side of the story before I judge, even if it’s just in my mind. A great lesson for me. But felt guilt most of the morning for thinking this way and worrying that if she really could read my mind I felt bad and that I sent her bad karma or something. A lesson in black and white thinking, by the survivor.

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