apparently i got the diagnosis :(

Posted: February 12, 2013 in BPD, clinic doctor talk, depression, mental health, SMI

Yep, I have BPD, on top of my already:

SMI-serious mental illness diagnosis
major depression
generalized anxiety disorder

BPD is the diagnosis no one wants. I rather be bipolar *i think*
i just dunno.
damn damn damn

i was at my psychologist last week and asked ‘her opinion’ on what she thinks of me, diagnosis wise.
she said that i definitely have “borderline” in there.

’nuff said.
words of encouragement? anyone? 😦

  1. i see it used a lot lately, but to tell the truth i have to do my homework to get up to speed and wouldn’t be the best there. but i would caution about clinging too much to labels. no one knows us as well as we know ourselves. once we get the basics down on how the mind works, our own unique histories and behaviors, and a few recovery tools, a lot is in our hands. i know nothing about your situation, but for myself: i was a pretty passive patient for many years, living as if i was just being buffeted along by whatever thoughts came along, whatever doctors told me, dealing w/ whatever wherever i ended up after a mh crisis. in short: i was reactive, a passenger. (and saying this really is for my benefit, since the fact you have this blog shows you are more proactive than i ever was.) but in the last couple years i’ve finally come to understand that no doctor/counselor knows me like i do and i’m the one that has to do the real work of recovering. i don’t know why i’m writing this to you. it really is my latest lesson for myself. and to write it now it seems so bloody obvious, but for some reason it just wasn’t clear before. so: i guess i’m saying: you are not at the mercy of your brain (though it may feel that way frequently). there is a lot you can do to train your inner demons. keep writing, keep thinking, keep fighting. it will be so worth it: for those who love you, sure, but for yourself first and foremost. good luck.

  2. My advice is, don’t be ashamed of being borderline. Yes it means you have to do a lot of self work to feel better and to help your relationships. But personally, I respect people with bpd for going through the turmoil and pain they experience and when they get self awareness and self work they can use their strength and experience to be a light for others. Also people with borderline have a special sensitivity into intense emotions and pain that few others do, and can make use of this for self awareness and awareness and empathy for others. And personally I relate to BPD people a lot of times because I share some of the issues myself, most notably really intense emotions, relationship turbulence, and bad abandonment issues. I am not diagnosed with BPD in its entirety but with a borderline trait or traits. I am diagnosed with OCD and a mood disorder.

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