Archive for March, 2013

Just Because……

Posted: March 26, 2013 in Uncategorized

Just Because…….


i’ve been going to my DBT class weekly.

i’ve been trying here and there to attend my support group.

i think i’m finally done with the support group.

it’s getting weirder and weirder and it triggers me.

do you attend groups to help you get thru?


i have weight issues.
big issues.
meds make me fatter and fatter.
no, i’m not that ‘skinny’ girl that says ‘oh shit, i’ve gained 10 pounds’.
i weighed in at my general doc yesterday at 263!
My highest recorded weight EVER!
Just last year I was 240.
Before that I remember getting down to 222.
Well in 2011 I was not medicated at all for my mental health. was losing weight rapidly.
now look at me.
263. WTF?
i’m pissed.
i’m angry.
i’m sad.
i’m even MORE depressed now.

i try not to listen to those that say ‘just exercise’. WTF! I’ve been walking for about 6 months now, at least 3-4 times a week, faithfully.
no, my eating is not ‘perfect’.
but IMO, let’s face it, psych meds make you gain weight. period.

with my ‘clinic’ i’m in for my mental health they had me join this ‘wellness program’ for my workouts, weight control, nutrition classes, the list goes on.
all free, because i’m C-R-A-Z-Y. lol.

i have a love/hate relationship with my brain.

seriously woke up crying hard this morning from the depression being brought on by my frickin weight.

do you suffer?
what do you do?
so i’m going back to the psych doc to get more meds, different meds, and play the med game, once again.